Coping with the loss of a loved one or even a stranger can be extremely difficult. But more difficult than grieving, is feeling guilty that the person died because of something that may or may not have been done or done correctly.
In this video, I explain in detail what CPR is, and what it’s not and why a person should not ever feel guilty that they didn’t do enough to keep a victim of cardiac arrest alive. I hope that this video brings peace and understanding to why a rescuer should never feel that they are at fault when a person doesn’t survive cardiac arrest, though the bystander attempted CPR or wanted to give CPR. I hope it helps.
I received an email from a person who provided CPR to their father but unfortunately, their father did not respond to the CPR and remained dead. The child who provided CPR to them is now dealing with incredible feelings of failure and guilt. They feel as though they failed their father. They feel as though they did not help enough. They are sad, but they also feel responsible that their loved one is gone.
I knew I had to respond to this as soon as possible so I recorded a direct message to them in hopes that it can help them understand that they did everything right and what’s more…they showed a wonderful act of love to their father. I hope this helps them but I also hope it helps others who are suffering from the same or similar feelings. Peace Be With You.
I received yet another loving email from a person who’s father died in the front of their automobile while they were driving them to the hospital. Due to things outside her control, she was unable to move her dad to the ground so she improvised and did CPR while he was reclined in the car the best she could. She has struggled for some time with this and found some relief from my episode on “Did I Do CPR Wrong?”.
I just replied back to her and I have to believe there may be others who have tried to save a life with CPR and felt it was not successful. So I’m going to include my reply to her in this blog entry and for those of you who are suffering, I hope it helps.
This person said in her last paragraph of her email: “I have struggled with this in so many ways, yet feel comfort in being with him when he left. I have struggled to find any material that related to my experience. I have felt isolated in not being able to share how I lost my dad, This story, the words you have written, have helped me process and understand my own experience. Thank you.”
This was my response:
I’m so very sorry for the loss of your Father. I’m sure this must have been most traumatic for both you and your mother. I want to re-ensure you that what you did for your dad that day, was the most brave and loving gift you could have given both your dad and your mum. Every thing you did sounds perfect in order to give your dad the best chance of survival possible under the circumstances. The fact that he did not survive the event does not have anything to do with your efforts. Remember, CPR is only a time buyer in case the person is going to respond to medications and advanced medicine. It’s not a guarantee. The fact that you had the courage to try and the compassion to help is amazing. Please let your mother know that her reaction to the situation is also very normal. She lost the love of her life. Her soul mate and her husband. It’s a nightmare that is happening for real, right before her eyes and it’s not wrong for her to be so overwhelmed with grief and fear that she could not help. That’s why paramedics are not called to their own homes for emergencies. It’s too emotional. So please, let your mother know that she is not at fault for her reactions either.
I hope and pray that you will receive peace during this time of healing. But please know that everyone has a day to die and it’s never easy to experience it. CPR just keeps the window of opportunity to survive open a little longer. You gave that to your dad. As a father myself, I can only imagine how I’d feel to know that my daughter loved me so much that she would give me CPR while waiting for the ambulance to arrive. What love.
Be at Peace,
P.S. I’ve included the video that explains this message in detail. I recorded it so long ago, it’s hard to find so I’m going to bring it back to the top. Share it with anyone you may know who may benefit from it.
I received an email a couple of weeks ago by a well known television news show. They asked if I could help them with the topic of choking and specifically on hot dogs. I liked the idea and though they didn’t need the training I put together, I thought you all might benefit from it. In producing this training, I found that kids choke 60% of the time on food! Did you also know that of that 60%, 17% of the time it’s a hot dog? I thought it would be helpful for you rescue fans so I thought I’d share it with you. In this episode we discuss why kids choke on hot dogs, how kids choke on hot dogs, how to help prevent kids from choking and what to do if it happens. Get summer safe by catching up on this latest episode of RoyonRescue right now!
In this episode of RoyOnRescue, Roy covers the top ten poisons that most often send “Man’s Best Friend” to the Vet. Over 100,000 dog poisonings occur each year and most of them are from products we have right in our own home. The symptoms can include:
– Neurological problems
– Respiratory Difficulty
– Cardiac Problems
and even death. Dogs are a beloved part of the family and the last thing we’d want to worry about is that our sweet pooch got sick or died because of something we forgot to put away, pick up or clean up. Watch this episode to learn in just a few minutes how easy it is to prevent unnecessary dog poisonings.
An email came in from a true rescuer who got involved with a man who was in cardiac arrest over the holiday while they were enjoying themselves. They cared enough to get involved and try and save this person’s life but the man stayed dead despite their attempts. This rescuer is struggling with feelings of guilt and that she didn’t do enough. In this episode, I have a very real and honest discussion with understanding living, dying and rescue.
An estimated 294,851 emergency medical services-treated out-of-hospital cardiac arrests occur in the United States each year.(http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=4741)
And only 10% of people do something to help. What stops people from providing life saving techniques during a tragedy? In this video podcast Roy Shaw, Paramedic and BLS/ACLS/PALS instructor gets to the bottom of why people don’t get involved and what can be done increase the survival rate from cardiac arrest, regardless of what causes it.